So you've been chatting on your
favorite internet dating site with a terrific guy or gal. It's been a
few weeks since you've started communicating and you're really
enjoying yourself. Now it's time to take things to the next level. You
need to decide whether you're going to meet for coffee or a drink or
whether this calls for something a bit more upscale, like dinner.
Once you've decided that there is
another decision to be made; who is going to pay for the first date?
For some people this is a no brainer, for others it's more
complicated. Money can be an issue in any relationship, no matter how
old or new the relationship is. Couples argue over it, divorce over
it, while others end friendships because of it. While the subject
ignites so many emotions it can be a difficult subject to bring up
with someone.
The answer would lie in how
comfortable you feel with the person and if talking about money would
be an issue. Traditionally most guys would be open to paying for
dinner, or drinks for the few first dates. This makes it easier and
allows the two people to get to know one another without talking about
money.
If you eventually do end up in a
relationship things will progress naturally and the result is usually
a fair exchange. Times have progressed and most women are more than
willing to pay for things. But before you ever get to that point, here
are a few things to consider;
1. Discuss a
day and time you want to meet.
This is important because you might
want to meet at a certain time and he might be thinking about
something totally different. For instance, as a woman you may feel
more safe meeting during the day for lunch while he might enjoy the
night life.
2. Discuss
where you want to go.
Once you've established when you're
going to meet, you need to decide what it is you're going to do. Will
it be meeting for coffee, lunch or dinner, a movie, the museum or a
concert? By this time you should have a pretty good idea of each
others' likes and dislikes.
3. What will
you wear?
What you'll wear is usually decided
by where you're going. You don't want to wear you hiking gear to a
swanky French restaurant, nor do you want to wear killer heels on the
hiking trail. There are enough things to be nervous about on the first
date, so don't make what you're wearing one of them.
The when, the where and the what
have been decided. Now is the time for nature to run its course. First
dates are all about getting to know each other, so do just that. Talk,
listen and smile. If you want to bring up the subject of who pays, do
so in a relaxed manner and if your date says "My treat", smile and say
"Thank you".
